From Okhaldhunga to Oklahoma-II
This is the story of Ram Prasad, a Nepali caught between two worlds. Many Nepalis, both at home and abroad, will find it familiar. Read Part Two below.
By Dr. Ambika Prasad Adhikari
The popular belief that all problems will end once you reach the shores of the US, has been turned upside down. Ram cannot go back to Nepal; it is too late.
Finally in America
Ram Prasad's student life was exciting with a mixture of parties and studies. Those days, many in his class in the hinterland university could not believe that a person from a place as exotic as Nepal could actually be in their midst in flesh and bone! School was very demanding, and Ram wondered what he could have become if he worked like that in Nepal. After much hard work, Ram graduated from college and began to think of the next step. For a while he thought of returning to Nepal, but why should he after investing so much time and work in the US. His family and friends told him he would be a fool to go back. Also, what was there in Nepal to return to?
A US salary man?s life
Ram graduated, took up a job, got married to a Nepali girl and settled in the American way of life, and began to muddle through the harsh reality of life in the US. He enjoyed all the American luxuries: a suburban home, two cars, dozens of credit cards, and a two-week vacation each year!
Slowly, he found the work to be relentlessly hard, and at home too it was a drudge, with no help except for the machines. The never-ending stream of bills, credit and exposure to everyday violence in the city has taken its toll on Ram?s peaceful temperament. He is now a bit more tense, irritated, and at times even frustrated with trying to balance finances and family. Ram takes comfort in the fact that for many Nepalis his life in America still is perceived like a dream come true. But Ram is well educated, and has worked hard to establish himself, so a simple existence is not satisfying enough for him. With similar credentials, his friends back home run the country, and what has Ram achieved in life, except perhaps, a materially more comfortable existence in America? In fact, even financially his counterparts in Nepal seem better off. Ram now compares his earlier imagination with the facts of life in the USA, and sometimes wonders how his life would have been if he had returned to Nepal after graduation. He feels that it certainly would have been more meaningful and fulfilling.
Life in America: Mixed feelings
Ram often visits Nepal, and is astounded by the wealth, and fame of many of his colleagues, who stuck with Nepal. Some came abroad, but did return either on their own will, or because they could not manage jobs and visas in the West. In those days, Ram, appeared like a winner, but that victory seems to be sliding away slowly. His colleagues in Nepal lagged behind in the early years, but caught up later. Ram with his excellent education, and ability to work hard, would have been in the same place as his colleagues in Nepal, but that is only a hypothetical thought now.
When he thinks of how relaxed his young days were in the Nepali hills, life in Nepal does not appear to be too bad at all. The popular belief that all problems will end once you reach the shores of the US, has been turned upside down. Ram cannot go back to Nepal; it is too late. His kids are here; his life is here. Not that the kids respect him much or listen to him, but they are Americans and will be foreigners in Nepal. His wife likes it here, away from demanding in-laws and relatives, and a safe distance from the daily tasks of looking for water and the daily necessities of life. Further, Ram is getting older, and has begun to experience all the rich men?s diseases: diabetes, blood pressure, stress, heart condition, arthritis and allergies. He is scared to be back in a place where the medical system is unreliable. He lived all his productive life in America, who is going to give him respect in Nepal, or how can he find a useful and gainful role in Nepal? What has he given back to Nepal? He has contemplated about doing some business in Nepal, but he is reluctant to face competition from his colleagues in Nepal who have already established themselves.
Ram has slowly resigned himself to the life of a Non-Resident Nepali (NRN) in America and has come to terms with the implication of his earlier decision. There are many things, sometimes just beliefs, to justify that life is better in the US compared to Nepal. For example, in the US there is clean water, unadulterated food, functioning phones, electricity; and the whole system works here. Further, life in the US is stable and predictable? apart from ubiquitous crimes, whereas Nepal seems mired in never-ending violence, mismanagement and corruption. Ram takes consolation from this contrast. Although he would have been a VIP in Nepal, in a foreign land he is just another struggling immigrant. In his imagination, life in America is not as fulfilling to him, as it would have been in Nepal. But the reality is who cares for Ram in Nepal; if he returns he will just be a retired Lahure? Any novelty value he has will quickly fade away in a few weeks.
Ram finally accepts the reality, and even believes that life is not too bad in the USA. He does not have many options anyway. Unlike in the Hindi movies, you cannot be in two places at once, and you only get one shot at life! Concluded.
(Dr Ambika Adhikari is associated with Arizona State University, USA. Ram Prasad is a fictional character)
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