It was 8 a.m. in the morning in August 24, 2007, when she snoozed her alarm, put her head under her pillow and tried to catch five more minutes of sleep. There were two things in life she could not give up – her sleep, and chocolates. There had been a time when she would say that there were three things that she could not give up, but that had been a long time ago. She slowly drifted back to sleep when her alarm started ringing again with vengeance, denying her the peaceful slumber that she craved for. She read somewhere that quality of sleep mattered more than the quantity of sleep, so she got out of bed cursing her alarm clock. There was no way she was getting any good quality sleep as long as her alarm held a grudge against her.
Life had been the same for the past few months, and she had grown accustomed to the same old monotonous schedule. She would get up at 7 in the morning, go to work, come back home, work out, prepare dinner, watch TV and then go back to sleep and look forward to another similar blue day. She was totally satisfied with her job; she had wanted to be a teacher. Most people would look at her in amazement when she explained how she had gone to school to become a middle school teacher. People found it hard to believe that she would spend five years of her life and thousands of dollars to get a simple job that hardly helped pay off her bills. She hardly believed it herself at times, especially when she looked back and saw what she had to give up to reach where she was today.
Naina was always a very ambitious girl, with stunning looks. She had light brown almond-shaped eyes and light olive skin which gleamed with health. She thought her lips were too thick, but the people who looked at it when she smiled thought she had the most divine smile in the world. She turned from a cute and huggable baby to a beautiful and desirable woman as she grew older. When asked what she wanted to do in life, she always said that she wanted to be a doctor, because they earned lots and lots of money and were highly respected. Her dad was a doctor and her granddad was a very successful businessman and they expected no less from her. According to the stories told during family gatherings, when Naina was born her dad had looked at her with tears in his eyes and said, “Here comes my small doctor. You will follow your dad’s footsteps now wont you?”
She was so proud and touched that her dad had so much faith in her that she had devoted her life to becoming a successful doctor that every patient worshipped. She received a stethoscope on her 10th birthday and that was her most prized possession. She had several other scientific tools such as a microscope, a blood pressure machine, the whole lab kit and her own small science lab. Her dad would go there during Saturdays and teach her how to operate her tools. It was their special father-daughter time. Her mother was distressed by her ignorant behavior towards her womanly features. Though her mother was a fashionable woman with perfectly manicured nails and salon fixed hair, Naina refused to pay attention to her looks. Her mother always said that it was a disgrace to let such stunning looks get wasted, but all she cared was for academics. Every teacher thought she was the cherry of their eyes and were confident that she would become a very famous doctor.
As most youngsters of the new era, Naina traveled to the United States to get further education. It was a mystery to all why she went to the US to get a medical doctor’s degree when it was easier and faster to get a MBBS degree in Nepal. All she had to do was go to school for 5 years and she would get her doctorate. Especially with Naina’s grades and awards, there was no doubt that any institution would be proud to accept her as their student. Naina’s dad had something else in mind though. He wanted her to become the best doctor in Nepal, not only a doctor. He also did not want her to continue her education in a place where she would be constantly disturbed by the various commotions and explosions due to the Maoists. He was not sure what her future would have in store if she stayed in Nepal, but if she obtained her degree from the United States, she would be sure to become a doctor who could practice both in the US and in Nepal. Her future was secure and definite if she was sent to the United States. He would have never believed anyone who told him that his prediction was 100% inaccurate!
Naina went to University of Pennsylvania with a 100% scholarship in a pre-doctorate program when she met the rowdy, dirty, rich guy who challenged her beliefs, lifestyle and every other thing that she stood for. She was a nervous wreck when she went to the international orientation. She was alone for the first time in her life and did not know what she would do in an unknown country that had an unknown culture. There was only one other Nepali in the orientation and his name was Adarsh Thapa (as his name tag read). He seemed to be perfectly at ease in his torn pants and Mohawk. Though she felt alienated by a person of her own nationality, she thought it was safer to be with someone who would was at least from the same background.
She walked to him and smiled “Hi, can I sit next to you? I see that we are the only two people from Nepal.”
He looked at her face, took a full survey of her unfashionable clothes and looked back at her. His smile was lazy and his eyes looked as if he was ridiculing her appearance. “Sure… Naina,” he said as he read her name tag. “Your name at least does justice to you. You do have beautiful eyes, my name on the other hand is the biggest irony in my life!”
She liked his easy humor immediately and they became friends from that day on. Who would have known that the perfectionist, academic, serious medicine major would have a rowdy, talkative, easy-going music major as her best friend? Surprisingly, they got along like peas in a pod and did everything together. For the first time in her life, Naina started easing off and taking time off her studies. They would go out to movies and clubs on Adarsh’s request and to museums and science fairs on Naina’s. Naina discovered how to use make-up and wear suitable clothes while going to clubs and Adarsh discovered scientific facts he had never known such as humans evolved from australopithecines and the names of all 206 bones in the body (or most of it).
Naina had reached her sophomore year and was studying for her mid-terms when Adarsh came over to her one day. “Do you have time for a little outing?” he asked with the same lazy smile that made her heart flutter for an unknown reason.
“I have to study but I can go if we make it back in 2 hours.” She was a little concerned about her grades.
“Okay then lets go right now. We are not going to a party or a movie as you might have guessed. I am going to take you to the place where our music class goes Saturday afternoon to play. The place is not too fancy, but I hope you like it.”
So off Naina went to the place they played their music and was surprised when she reached the venue. She was shocked to see the sad eyes of little kids of all ages peering at her as she walked in.
“Have you ever been to an orphanage?” Adarsh asked with such compassion that Naina thought she had imagined it. She shook her head in a silent no. “You have always wanted to become a doctor and I have always respected that. But when I asked you why you wanted to become one, it was for the wrong reasons. You wanted to fulfill your dad’s dreams and become famous. Now I am not an ambitious person like you, but there is something in common between us. We have a passion for what we are pursuing. I know I don’t have a bright future as a music major, but I started playing for kids in orphanages when I was 15, and it was incredible to see them enjoy something that I created. That’s why I developed a passion for music, and social work. I wish your passion was related to something you wanted and not your dad.”
These words changed the way Naina perceived everything. She started wondering what she would have wanted if her father’s compassion had ruled her life, if she had not been given stethoscopes at birthdays and had been taken to science fairs on holidays. What if she had been given a choice? She could not help but see the sad eyes of the orphans and the same question kept popping in her head. Would she be able to help them if she became a high-fi surgeon? Not knowing what to do with her confusion she started taking child developmental classes and browsing through her options. She also started going to the orphanage as a volunteer worker and in doing so started spending more time with Adarsh and saw a different side of him. She started dreaming of his lazy smile, his compassion for the orphans and she could not help but fall for him slowly.
He reminded her of a coconut, hard on the outside but soft on the inside. She could not help herself from remembering his warm eyes and his soothing voice when he talked to the orphans or when he was trying to ease her mind. He was strong, compassionate, kind and did what he wanted in life. He had his priorities set and did not want to live a lavish life that his parents had brought him up in as long as his dreams of helping orphans came true. He was her idol, he was everything that she was not! And she was utterly in love with him and did not know how to express her feelings.
They had known each other for three years now. She had adored him for three years and had been in love with him for one whole year. She knew he liked her, even loved her but only as a friend. It was amazing that boys and men had flocked around her all her life but the one that she had fallen in love with had never considered her as a romantic partner. She was going to Adarsh’s room to meet him for dinner and a movie. Saturday was their movie night-- they had been watching a movie together each Saturday for the past two years. Not once during their numerous movie nights with intimate surrounding and dim lights had Adarsh tried to get near her or kiss her. She sighed as she thought about how she must just be a sisterly figure to him. Adarsh was not in his room when she reached there but it was in the usual state of chaos. His books were open, his shoes were all over the floor, and his laundry basket was over flowing. She had gotten into the habit of straightening his things for him, so she started arranging his books while she was waiting for him. And then she saw it. It was a letter addressed to “Naina -- my dream girl” in his diary, dated a month back. Her heart was thudding in her chest as she picked up the diary. Her hands were shivering and she had to wipe it on her skirt as she started to read t he letter.
“Naina – my dream girl…
I have known you for the last three years and I have seen different sides of you. I have seen the daughter who wants her father’s dreams fulfilled, I have seen the friend who is always by my side and I have seen the girl who feels for small unhappy orphans and wants to make a difference. I have loved and cherished every aspect of you and I have been your biggest admirer for the last few years. When I saw you for the first time, I thought you were a snobbish academic oriented girl interested only in her ambition, and you have to admit I was partially correct. But I had not thought you would make me feel the love I have never felt before, I had not thought that you were thoughtful and fun, I had not thought you were kind and loving, I had not thought that one day you would make me feel alive. Your eyes mesmerized me the first time I saw them and three years later they still make my heart skip a beat.
I know that you love me, but only as a friend and I know that I probably don’t deserve to spoil someone’s future by asking them to be mine. I have no intentions of living for the materialistic happiness that money provides. I want to devote my future to orphans that are in need of help. As long as I have food on my plate, I will be happy. I know our priorities are different but I can’t help but wish that you could be mine. That I would have your encouraging smile to lead me on through my life….”
She read the unfinished letter and could feel her heart burst with happiness. She had never known that Adarsh felt the same way that she did. She could not wait for him to come for the movie night so that she could tell him how she felt. She felt that the gods were smiling down at her. She waited and waited and waited… At 1 a.m. she went back to her own dorm. disheartened by him not showing up. She went to sleep with a heavy heart. He had chosen that very day to not show up for their movie night in the two years that they had started meeting for movie…
She was awakened by her younger Nepali room mate in the morning with a start. The young girl shoved a newspaper under her nose without speaking a word. She hated to be woken up in the morning but the urgency in the girl’s eyes made her look at the newspaper. It read:
A 22 year old college student dies in a drunken accident
A 22 year old international college student Adarsh Thapa died on spot in a drunken accident last night at 9 p.m. Thapa was driving a blue ’02 Toyota Corolla when he collided with a red ’92 Chevrolet Cobalt. The 40 year old driver of the Cobalt was drunk and passed a red light. Thapa is assumed to be driving in a high speed around 60 miles/hour while the speed limit was 35 miles/hour. He could not control his vehicle when he saw the Cobalt hence collided into….
Naina could read no more. The newspaper slipped off her hands and fell down in the clean vacuumed floor of her bedroom. Adarsh Thapa, the compassionate and kind man with the lazy smile had died on 23rd August 2003. The third thing that she could never think of giving up was no more there for her to give up. He had given up on her before she could even tell him that she was in love with him…
Naina finally decided that she wanted to become a teacher for children in need. Her dad was devastated at first but understood the importance of her decision. She needed to do something for herself and finally make her own decisions. She joined a school as a science teacher in 2006 and was enjoying living their dreams. The dreams of a boy with a lazy smile and a kind heart, and an ambitious girl who had decided to make her own decision in life. Sometimes she thought that her decision was only a result of Adarsh’s early demise, but deep down she knew that she would have followed this path in her life. As far as her future went, she wanted to be a teacher and make a difference to orphaned children in need with her knowledge. There was probably no other man who could compete to Adarsh, but she had not completely shut down the possibility of another man coming in to her life. But she was not actually looking forward to it either. She could still see the kind eyes smiling at her in her dreams and that was enough for now.
Really loved it.. 
