I dressed up meticulously in a long, white, one-piece gown embroidered with shiny little stars; made my hair carefully; carried a small white purse - I hadn't used for ages, and finally slipped my feet in those high-heeled radiant shoes. I was ready. I could sense the smell of blossoms, I took bath in. With two of my friends, one on either side, I walked through a green, beautiful terrain; happy, smiling and contented. I could see peach trees, kids playing, flowers blooming all over, and a bright sun that smiled along with me. I was into the nature so much, that I didn't realize we were there so soon, to my destination, to the other end of the lane, to a grave that was dug six feet deep.

Formally dressed morticians, a father with his Bible, and a small child dressed up in all white and a black bowtie and black shoes, with daffodils in his hand; all stood gazing at me. I gave a slight smile to all of them. That moment was a long awaited one. Excited ness was killing me already. The small boy gave me that bunch of flowers with a smile on his face. Two of my best friends held my hand tight and asked if I really wanted to do this.

I confidently replied, "Yes, I'm not stubborn, I'm determined. Both of you know that this has been my dream for a long time."

They nodded. I could see those pearls shining in their eyes rambling down their cheeks. I was glad that I had people who cared about me so much, who would find their tears worth me. I gently let my hands go from theirs and turned towards the dark brown colored, casket, a huge one, finely decorated, my home from now on, my coffin. I headed towards it, and lied in it. The priest started to recite his stanzas, and they had the coffin closed. It was dark, no ray of sunlight could enter in, but I could feel the warmth within. It felt more like closing my eyes on a bright sunny day when I'd know that the sun's shining, yet would be dark. I could hear voices of the father and my friends crying, sprinkling water over, and then someone bawling. I felt as if I was lifted up and then lowered down, as deep as could be.

All I was trying to do was to experience the most exciting moment of my entire life. I was tying to notice each and every details of what I heard. Then, I heard something falling upon me, probably the earth. Bit by bit, the sound started to dump up. Slowly voices of the father started to disappear, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't reach upto my friends' cries. The undertakers would stuff up the mud to make it sure that I was well covered. I could still hear the dumping until after sometime they faded away as well.

Euphoria had not left me, when nervousness started tingling me up. After sometime, the air inside turned out to be colder, the only color I could see was 'black', and the only sound I could hear was the ticking of my watch, I had never heard my watch tick so clearly, the music was beautiful. Suddenly I thought, how could I be so optimistic in this stage of life? How could I enjoy the sound of ticking rather being daunted by the thought that the watch was just counting the 'few' breaths I had left? Oh my god! I can't do this to myself, I thought, I have some bright sides of my life, a new hope that everything is good, nice, bright and sunny. I have people who care and want to be cared by me.

Breaths? I remembered the amount of Oxygen remaining in my home. I suddenly realized that taking long breaths, deep ones, as seldom as one can, consumes less oxygen and increases the survival time. I tried talking long, deep breaths, every half a minute. Meanwhile I felt something hard in my purse. It was a lighter! God wants me to live! I took it out and lighted it up. My home was bright again and I felt a bit warmer. But I turned it off at once. Fire:Oxygen, I could sense that. Smartness? It was exacerbating my pain.
I wanted to get out, don't know how, but anyhow, I just wanted to get out of that darkness I had been asking for long. It probably hadn't been twenty minutes, but I was already missing the sun, the warmth, missing the colorful world I used to live in. I tried opening up the cover, but the six feet deep cover was strong enough to be moved by my small hands, I shouted for help but probably kids playing above my grave could not even realize there was somebody inside. I cried, prayed, but nothing happened. Tired, helpless and a bit hypoxic, I started to remember all those moments of my life, from school, to friends, to family, to what each of them meant, sayings, words, days when I lived my life to its fullest. When I had a feeling of doing something, those comments, compliments, mistakes, I had a flashback of everything. I could even remember gaurab telling "Lah, tyo din bachcha-chor le lageko bhaye, ke garne hola? We would have missed such a nice person."

Was it fear, anxiousness, happiness or helplessness, I do not know, but I started smiling, and then laughing, laughing out loud, as loud as I could, as loud as can be! The happiest moment probably!?

That is just creepy! I must admit, as I was reading it, I was having a hard time breathing because I put myself in her shoes and I could feel what she was feeling. Well written, but still creepy.

:O..:O
Scary..:|
But nice one!!..:D

wohooooo.. KILL BILL! Uma Thurman must have gone through similar creepy ride, whoa! Incineration would be even creepier, I bet you Uma. Wanna try that? ;)

I felt myself been hypoxic while reading ,even I was in my cozy and airy room . Oh Nepche what a depiction of such a scary subject .

The writing is very good but I dont get the whole thing! WHY would a living Nepali girl want to bury herself in a grave??

.Is oxygen level going down in my room?? I am feeling it. Let me open my windows.

Nice One Nepal ko choro!!

I didn't know Nepal ko choro was a girl.. Now i do:P.
Anyways, nice story. Did she die in the end or someone dig her out?

he wants to be a girl kya :-P

good story..
was it a dream?

lol Cerine. I was askin him why he wants to be a girl and guess what he said? nothing!!! ahahha. He cracks me up!

nepal ko chora,
that was amazing. how can you think of that. truly fascinating.

now cerine, how did you know he wants to be a girl huh ???

paRelA, you did for real ho? :O

Nepal ko chora - hmm..nice i guess!! but I am with Rythm here, i really don't understand it either!! :S

The world seemed to be happy, but I didn’t have an iota of clue if it really was or not. My eyes were simply watering and I had only you in my eyes. It was as if a flashback, with all our sweet days hovering around me. I had many questions spinning across my head… “How can it happen suddenly? Is this a dream or a reality? How can God be so merciless…no he cannot be at all…”

Sooner you were taken out of the flashing vehicle& rushed towards the emergency. My heart was pounding with fear and I could feel my chilly blood running inside me. I was in complete fear and had almost lost hope. We loved you a lot and could hardly see with our eyes- you walking on the brink of life. Yet I believed in God and prayed him every moment for your prompt recovery and good health.

We waited outside. My eyes were just gazing on the doors of the emergency and every moment, I was expecting you be shifted to the general ward. Every moment, I expected the door to open and hear good news, but alas…

Too tired and exhausted with all day’s work, I didn’t know when I fall asleep. When I woke up the following morning, I cursed myself. How could I be so merciless? You are going though such pain and hard moments of life and I could sleep with comfort? I ain’t your real friend…I couldn’t be there with you when you are in grave trouble. I cursed myself for it.

Slowly I could see the rays of Sun playing hide and seek amidst fog. It was a fresh dawn which brought in me, new rays of hope that you will be back with us soon. I simply didn’t wish the days with you to be my memories. I prayed to God to bring back our sweet days once again. We had enjoyed every moment of our life together, those days when we used to play marbles, fly kites…and hide & seek….

But this time, you were hiding from us for too long….and I feared …

It was now almost 8:25 am in the morning. It had been almost been more than 10 hours that you were taken inside. Suddenly, the door creaked and I rushed towards the doctor … He was in complete silence for a while…. His silence was the answer to my question… My eyes got filled with water, tears rolled down my cheeks….How can God be so merciless and cruel? How can he take away our friend so quickly? He has only been a soldier in this arena of life…he was supposed to play many more roles ahead; he has not played the role of as a child yet….but where and what went wrong, I was totally helpless and I couldn’t figure out anything…

I had to soothe myself it as a part of our life and the ultimate reality.
It was time for all of us to bid adieu to him….no one could stop him. Then suddenly I recalled our famous poet Leknath Poudyal’s words…”Aaayo Taaapah Tipyo,Lagyo…Miti Pugyo, Tareraarah Tardaina Tyo….”

It was time for him to depart and he had to……Unwillingly, we had to bid him Goodbye..

May his soul rest in peace in Heaven. We miss him a lot…

Wow! That was great, sangfroid.
RIP

great piece
:-)

What I understood from Nepal_ko_Chharo's piece is this:
The story is sounds likethat a cross-dresser dying to commit to suicide but is initially
overcome with slight trepidation but mostly with happiness afterwards.

The character in Nepal_ko_Chora's piece is not a cross-dresser.
I would attend my own eulogy, if that could be possible. Hearing what your friends and family have to say about the person you were and about the life you lived would be awesomeeeeeee!

Pare IA!
Yeah, but.. may be a cross-dresser looking to attend his own eulogy then. For, he could have used a male character to convey the same meaning.

AbsolutelyObsolete!
First of all it's pareLA and second of all why can't a man have a female character in his piece? It's not his autobiography; therefore he can write it from anyone's perspective. Don't you agree?

Thank you all for reading the piece and coming forward with your views and comments.
Let me clearify some points here ...

Let's think why man wants to step on the moon, why want to explore the edges of mars..it's human curiocity that makes you drool on unearthy stuffs.
It's easy to be be who you are and write mundane stuffs like ..i saw this gal on TV today...gosh..she had such a nice pair of legs..
It was just an attempt to pretend someone who you are not...and try to describe an experience which you hardly come across in your day to day life.

Thank you sangfroid for adding your piece in the thread. That was a good piece.
:-)