American dream’ turned sour
For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move!

By Bhumika Ghimire

Like thousands of students in Kathmandu, America was my escape from all the tough realities of life in Nepal-- pollution, social pressure, political turmoil and lack of opportunities. I never thought that living in a country where I don’t know anyone and where money stands over human relationships and emotions would be a bad idea. America had the charm and the appeal that never faded, no matter how many doubts I had they all seemed trivial in front of the tremendous opportunity America presented.

It has been two years since I arrived in the USA and all that American charm and glory seems far from the reality. I laugh at myself sometimes for believing that I had a reasonable chance to succeed here. I came with no money, no contacts, with just dreams and hope. I had a dream of becoming an IT consultant, earning decent amount of money so that I could bring my family here and yes, travel around the world. The dream is still alive but is far from being a reality.

For a year, I struggled to get my degree, working odd jobs, one of which was at an Indian restaurant. From 9:00 a. m. to 4:00 p. m. I used to attend college then from 5:00 p. m. to 10:00 p. m. I used to work. I don’t want to make it simple by saying that all this was hard. It was way beyond that, every day I used to remember my carefree days in Kathmandu. I had my parents taking care of everything. All I had to do was being nice and study hard.

Still I used to give them so much trouble, never listened to what they said. It was hard remembering those days during the long working hours, listening to all the remarks people at work made about my accent and my looks. Sometimes I used to question myself, why did I come here? To listen to all these remarks? I left my home, family, decent job and came here to work as a Server in a restaurant..? I used to comfort myself by saying that even if times now are tough, after I get my degree I will surely get a great job and things would be great.

I am laughing again at myself, because nearly a year after graduating top of my class, I am still struggling in between the odd jobs. The dream job I wished for is nowhere in sight, but my credit card bills are surely becoming mountain high. Now-a-days I have just stopped thinking about all the dreams I had when I came here, I just focus on getting by each day at a time. It seems much easier that way. Still you cannot run away from the reality or hide the facts. I consider myself as a failure, I do regret coming to America and not being able to accomplish anything.

But then now slowly I am learning to live with my failures. I volunteer at a local organization, work with people less fortunate than me and try to find a purpose among all the things that went wrong in my life. I am learning to believe this is a phase and it will pass.

For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move. Grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.

(A graduate of Schiller University, Florida, Ghimire is currently based in the US and writes on contemporary issues. Please send your comments to bhumika_g@yahoo.com)

There is a no place in America, for those who depressed !!!!!!!!!! Go back to Nepal, enjoy life under your parents.

Bhumika is not the only one. The fake dream has to be curshed. People should be made aware. This and other discussion about hardship of student life here should not only be limited in sajha but be posted on Nepalnews.com and other publication so Nepali youths know the reality.

It is not only the american dream of achieving everything materialistic that turns into a nightmare, but also the discipline in life, life style, social life, that gets muddled up in the quest.

I guess grass is in fact greener on the other side. Learn by "Trial and error" process.
The innovation will make its way.

Optimism, patience and hardwork will certainly make the grass look green again!!

that which does not kill us makes us stronger - f nietzsche. tru tru...

that which does not kill us makes us miserable...

wht abt the ppl who did move to usa and were successful and have awesome lives i think Bhumika Ghimire's story is just one side i think there r more success stories of nepalis who have moved to usa frm nepal then there r unsuccessful ones. i think there were other alternatives after she got her degree and still didnt have a job she could have done masters u can get jobs in uni i mean there are lots of things u can do here that u cannot do in nepal and they offer schlorships as well for tops students so. & i dont really agree with this statement either " money stands over human relationships" i think it depends on the types of ppl u meet and associate with there r many caring individuals in usa... everybody gets depressed when they move to a new place b/c its not how u exactly pictured it to be. i dont know i just dont think usa is really that bad.

wht abt the ppl who did move to usa and were successful and have awesome lives i think Bhumika Ghimire's story is just one side i think there r more success stories of nepalis who have moved to usa frm nepal then there r unsuccessful ones. i think there were other alternatives after she got her degree and still didnt have a job she could have done masters u can get jobs in uni i mean there are lots of things u can do here that u cannot do in nepal and they offer schlorships as well for tops students so. & i dont really agree with this statement either " money stands over human relationships" i think it depends on the types of ppl u meet and associate with there r many caring individuals in usa... everybody gets depressed when they move to a new place b/c its not how u exactly pictured it to be. i dont know i just dont think usa is really that bad.

What in the hell people think about अमेरिका? अमेरिका लाई के सोचेको छ यार्? के अमेरिका जादु को देश हो त? पक्का पनि यो देश हाम्रो देश भन्दा धेरै राम्रो छ तर यहां सुन त फल्दैन नि यार्। टेक इट इजि ।

To be honest with you, you're lucky. To actually wach your parents go through all that is even worse. I have a very easy life here. But my parents are the ones paying for it. My dad has bachelors in Literature, Math and Law (from Nepal) and two masters degrees, was always the first ranking officer in government civil service exams for promotions, and here, he works countless hours as a labour. My mum isnt much educated but still even she has to toil labouriously. If you don;t like it in the US Bhumika return to Nepal cuz one thing's for sure, my kids arent growing up here. This place is to work your bones off, not "live".

SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE NO DARE TO LIVE A CHALLENGING SELF DEPENDENT LIFE. DURING STUDY ANY WORK IS GOOD. WORK IS WORSHIPPED IN USA. I AGREE THERE IS NO LIFE IN US - SPECIAL THE SOCIAL ONE THAT WE HAVE IN NEPAL. BUT IT IS A GOOD PLACE TO WORK. IT TEACHES YOU HOW TO COPE WITH ENVIRONMENT. IT TEACHES CHALLENGE. AND IN MANY CASES THERE IS HONESTY IN WORK AS COMPARED TO NEPAL. I AM IN LATE 30+ AND I MISS NEPAL A LOT. BUT I AM DOING BETTER IN WORK AS COMPARED TO NEPAL- BOTH IN MONETARY VALUE AND JOB SATISFACTION. SO IF YOU ARE DEPENDENT ON YOUR MOM DAD THEN US IS NOT FOR YOU WHERE BOYS AND GIRLS START THEIR OWN LIFE INDEOENDENT OF PARENTS ONCE THEY TURN 21.

dyamn, that which does not kill us *might* make us miserable. but that which does kill us makes us Dead. i'd rather be strong and miserable for a little bit than be dead.

nepal ko lato, uppercase letters are actually *Harder* to read. so if you want to make your point LOUD, just use lowercase most of the time, and use uppercase when you need to emphasize your point...just a suggestion...

bhimka "g".... i guess u were quite aware of this fact when u were back home.... the main reason students throng to this "....." land is to see by themselves..... i was aware.... i wanted to see... and here i am.... left completely alone and "betrayed" in this red neck town...!! malai dherai le bhanthe yanha naaija bhanera..... but i thought they were "showing off" bhanera..... tyai bhayera ma kasilai naiijo bhandina...... sabai jana aaijo..... afno bhaygya ma je cha..... tyai huncha yanha..... !! kaso sathi ho...??

Bhumika here made an excellent point at the end. May be she was merely suggesting to those people who still are in Nepal or elsewhere, that think before you come to USA. And I really think, that is the one thing she did not do.
Over many years of my stay here in USA, I have seen classic cases like this, day in and day out. People have jumped on and came here in United States without doing any homeworks, and hence face the problems what Bhumika and other thousands of people had faced. I think it will be wrong to say USA does not have any opportunity or it is a bad place, just because you did not have any luck here. Just like everything else, success takes tremendous amount of hard work. And hard work is not the only key, you need to be a smart and disciplined. Patience is the key here. I am not saying that waiting for long will eventually brings you a good life, but mostly good thing always come to those who wait. It has just been two years for Bhumika and she already is frustrated. I bet you Bhumika, it will take more than mere two years for one to become successful or financially healthier. Dont forget that you have to start from a scratch here in this country, so in terms of USA, you are just two years old kid, it is time for you to crawl now and soon you will be able to walk and eventually run, but for that you need to wait, learn, discipline yourself and then see how it goes. if you still have a bad life then I will promise you i will give you my full attention and listen to your problem, until then, stop complaining and try to focus towards your life and may be plan a little bit better. And this goes to thousands of Bumikas, who think that life here in United States is very easy and they can make money left, right and center. Yes they can, but it is not that easy, you just have to WORK on it. For some reason if you do not agree on that, than I personally think you should go back to Nepal. Remember USA did not promise you that you will have a good life here, it was your assumption and you took risk for it. If your endeavor fails, you can always quit and go back to Mangalman.
My two Cents.

you guys scare me.....gawd...I am graduating this year...

as a person for whom the american dream HAS turned sour
i make this observation

milk, refrigerated, keeps for a long time (though not indefinately)
milk, left out, turns sour.. QUICKLY

people gotta make sure they remember to keep that fridge door closed
i mean, sometimes, yeah, even stored milk goes bad
but leaving it outside ENSURES that it will spoil

be vigilant
and enjoy a nutritios drink

laura..dunno watcha talking about honey...its no point crying over sour spilled milk...if you are feelin so deppressed maybe you need to get some fresh..you'lll be fine and FYI we're doing awesome quite thank you very much..take care hon

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Hi Bhumika,

Don't be disappointed because your day will come. I am not trying to argue in favor of America here but let me tell you something I truly believe America is the only country in the entire world where anybody can be successful by doing anything and doing it honestly.
There is nothing wrong in working at the Italian restaurant as a server, any job that puts the roof over your head and food in your plate, should be respected. Sweetheart it's your perception that's causing all these sorrow.

I came to America when I was 17 years old. Did not know a soul in US. I made some mistakes and on the other hand made some wise decision. I too had a humble beginnings like most immigrants and today I am very happy with what I have. I really don't think I could have achieved what I have achieved today if I was living in Nepal or anywhere else without taking bribes or inheritance.

I truly believe root cause of your disappointment is that you are homesick. I suggest you go out make friends, explore the world enjoy your life. Sweetheart, let me tell you something..Life is not a destiny it’s a journey. You only have one lifetime..Live it the way you want. Make some attitude adjustments and let me know if you still feel betrayed.

Take care..or else no one will take care of you.