Some days all we need is a good excuse to not be alone. Some days we just want to call up a long lost estranged friend and see if the old spark is still there. Some days we feel nothing. Some days we feel nothing but disappointment. Some days all we need is some poetry we can relate to. And these days are the hardest to pass by because in days like these, we fear that while shutting the world down, we have locked ourselves out or that long lost friend has changed their number or even if we finally get to talk, we won’t have much to talk about. These are the days we fear we might be an emotional zombie and turn ourselves into a self-handicapping crybaby. And so we ignore the easy things to do and burden ourselves with assumptions and more fear. We do not make plans, we do not call, we don’t do anything to avoid feeling so vulnerable and alone in the fear that we may end up vulnerable and alone.

We are slave of irrational moods, closed off or just confused, tired and selfish, broken or plain delusional. We don’t realize that the reason we are hurting is because we have been stabbing ourselves with sharp blades of self doubt, hatred and fear. We often don’t realize that while protecting ourselves from risk, we are depriving ourselves of chances. We don’t realize life is passing us by while we are looking for a “next time” to do things. We are manipulated by fear and self doubt and slowly we turn numb. We seldom do what we really want to do. We keep looking over our shoulders to make sure we are not away from where we are supposed to. We
keep being stagnant and refuse to flow. And we die like this, never letting ourselves really live.

The only way to live life is to be open to anything and everything it throws your way. Keep up with the pace of life and fight its thunders and downpours and most importantly make sure you never ever miss to enjoy when life gives you sunshine and rainbows. So next time, if you don’t want to be alone, don’t be alone. Call up friends and make plans. If you don’t have friends, go out and make some. Do not shut out the world. Shut out the doubt. Keep people who make you feel better close .Don’t make people grow away from you but if they do anyway, let them. Say goodbyes but be open to new encounters. Don’t obsess over what’s gone and what’s not there and what could be. Enjoy the brief moments if life to the fullest, capture each and every memories. Travel with your loved ones. Travel alone. Make yourself busy with enjoying life so much that you don’t get time to whine about it. And remember not to let life screw you over. The secret is to make life your bitch and not the other way around.

Yeh.. life is a bitch, it fcks you anyway.
And, yeh.. it's better to be single than be alone in any kind of shitty relationships.

Welcome to the spiritual paradigm, awakening awaits you, it's been strumming the strings of your heart and soul, whoever you are, don't stop there. Keep pondering.

bittertruth
yup!

Evanescense,

It is always a treat to read all the food for thought that you put out. You have expressed deep and complex thoughts in an attractively simple way. I agree with everything you have said, pretty much sentence for sentence, word for word, thought for thought. 

A couple of thoughts I'd like to submit: 

"If you don’t have friends, go out and make some"

That's the key to becoming the well-adjusted person that society expects us to be. Without friends, we risk turning into misfits and outcasts, things that most of us don't want to be seen as but at some deep level may already have become. :)

The trick, as cliched as this might sound, is to seek out quality over quantity. Many people make the mistake of compensating for their loneliness by seeking friends without being selective about who they befriend and in the process collect friends who turn out to be bad for them. Which can be more ruinous that not having friends. Some people maybe conscious of that danger and avoid bending too much to attract friendship  but I think that is one of the most common social mistakes everyone makes at some stage of discovering and exploring their inner self.  

The other thing I have realized is sometimes the people you are closest to - your childhood best friend, close cousins whose company you enjoy,  the few real friends you have in the foreign land that you are currently in, and dare I say even your own siblings and parents in some cases  - come with their own mental and psychological baggage and we often fail to recognize that. It is easier to recognize the baggages of classmates, colleagues, acquaintances than of those you are emotionally and socially attached to. That's why we fail to protect ourselves from those who we don't feel vulnerable towards but who in essence have the biggest effect on our emotions.

Lastly, on another note, I recently re-watched "The Never Ending Story" from the 1980s. Not sure if you've seen it. Highly recommended if you haven't. It was a great piece of cinema for its time - in every respect from the story line to the special effects to the sheer audacity of the writers imagination. Like how they say all modern American writing can somehow be traced back to Hemingway, I feel much of the fantasy movies that followed, can, at some level, be tied back to the Never Ending Story. The theme was refreshingly simple : when you lose hope, there is despair, and despair creates a negative  "nothing", which consumes us all. Even though it is a children's fantasy, the allegorical references to life's struggles, ups and downs are astoundingly brilliant and serve to remind that life is only as complex as you make it and fulfillment lies in simplifying your feelings and thoughts. Reading your piece reminded me of the movies's take-aways.

Keep writing, you need to be paid for this  ;) 

Off Topic but Some of the my thoughts:

All human beings are born with a debt (nepali rin). First debt would be the mother who keeps u on her belly for the 9 months and after such a harsh period gives u a birth. They say this is the biggest debt in your life and you should pay it in anyways possible.
This is most frustrating part of the human life. Can there be debt for a child who just got born? All the people are happy for his birth. But that child who does not know how to say he is feeling hungry is already burdened with such a huge debt which is going to take most of the life to pay. When he starts to walk, he will be forced to go to school and will be always reminded that this is not his life. This life is given by someone else and he has to pay the debt for being born in this world.
Though of becoming a saint. But does running without paying the debt is what u want to do. This is more like an irresponsible person. Do u want to be an irresponsible person? That is another question that lingers around by head.
Will I ever be able to pay the debt I owe?
Can there be a day when I can say I am debt free?
Even after dying, I am debt to the nature and the nature will consume every part of me.

vivant

its always so enlightening to read your perspectives. and inspiring too. and no i haven't watched that movie yet but i will definitely will. and like always, thanks. :)

gonecarzy

that's some deep thoughts you have got there. yes there is always the conflict between living life in our own terms and in someone else's. we are in someway bound to some obligations and that cannot be denied but we can still live life to the fullest we can or at least we should aspire to. thanks for sharing your thoughts here and do keep them coming.

After a long time seeing a writer in sajha who makes sense.

Evanescence keep up the good work.

rethink
thanks :)

Evanescence, thank you for this post. you have reminded me something i had long forgotten. thank you again

Evanescence, u made my day!! One of the awesome read ever... Reminded me of what i have forgotton and missed... Thankyou...

ksele
i am so glad. its my pleasue :)

pyaaronepal
and you made mine :) thank you for the appreciation

marry me Evanescence

kseele
haha think wisely i wont let you back down if i decided to agree :P

Evanescence, i have never seen you in person, but i would like to talk to you and get to know you better. if it works out we will get married, how about that?

Evanescence,

Thank you for this positive post..... I truly needed this now.... जीवनको निरसता र निराशा दुवैले भित्रै भित्रै खाइरहेको भान हुँदै थियो ..कता कता गुम्सिएको ..अँध्यारिएको.... अलिकति भएपनि क्षितिजमा उज्यालो पोखिदिनु भो ..... कृतज्ञ छु

- थाहा छैन

ksele
hahaha sure sure

tahachaena
i am glad that my post could relieve you somehow. and dont kneel down to frustrations of life, fight them. hold in there buddy. :)

Evanescence, hun i am not kidding. I am very serious